


Silent devotion

by xcrossheartedx



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Bottom Albus Dumbledore, Consensual Sex, Crucio as BDSM tool I guess?, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, It's angsty af too, Light BDSM, Love, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot, Power Dynamics, Top Gellert Grindelwald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26844973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcrossheartedx/pseuds/xcrossheartedx
Summary: This was –bottom of my heart– an attempt to get into Gellert Grindelwald's complex emotional range."Gellert’s eyes where completely shut in his almost completely dark room. He could hear each word pounding over his chest, drilling his mind. For the first time in years, tears glided from his mismatched eyes all through his pale face and onto his mouth. They tasted acidic, sour, bitter. He wished they were poisonous."
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	Silent devotion

**Author's Note:**

> “Light reflects from your shadow, it is more than I thought could exist  
> You move through the room, like breathing was easy  
> If someone believed me… They would be as in love with you as I am”  
> Angels – The xx

“He's a monster.

His actions are pure atrocities.

That’s exactly what horror looks like.”

_Obscene._

_Outrageous._

_Evil._

_Criminal._

Gellert’s eyes where completely shut in his almost completely dark room. He could hear each word pounding over his chest, drilling his mind. For the first time in years, tears glided from his mismatched eyes all through his pale face and onto his mouth. They tasted acidic, sour, bitter. He wished they were poisonous. He desired that they could erase his worthlessness out of this world. Disgusting. He felt unworthy. The sole idea of Albus believing those ideas of him made him disoriented.

He was jealous, so jealous of Albus’ heart of gold. He cursed him, not with actual words but with his most visceral feelings. Then he remembered, he opened his eyes and they glimmered as he looked at the only window that allowed a beam of light into the room. He remembered how he had abandoned him. How he gave up on what they had, their plans, their future. He wanted to feel rage but the only thing he could feel now was a sense of abandonment and despair. That also tasted familiar, as familiar as a blonde child eating alone each day, wondering where his parents where. As a teenager trying to fit into the _poster child_ of brilliance and not even being glanced by the only ones he truly cared. As a boy acting out in school by giving trouble. But not even that was enough. He was never enough for anyone. Not his parents, not his Albus. He again felt a sharp pain through his chest. He touched it and he felt that little piece of shimmering metal. He got it off his neck and held it into his hand. He felt physically sick. Disgusted by his own vulnerability, he almost laughed mercilessly at himself. How pathetic, how could he he still hang onto an empty promise?

He didn’t even recognize himself anymore, he couldn’t stop but he didn’t wanted to keep going. He stopped, took a breath. He couldn’t allow himself to be that weak. Through the cold air that entered his lungs and almost in a heartbeat he had gained dignity again. He remembered he had thousands of people who could kill and die for him, just one word pronounced. All their fear, all their respect and all their desire. He lingered into that thought, that gave him settlement.

The lingering lascivious thoughts on how his body possessed any acolyte of his desire like if they were all made for his pleasure was the only thing that gave him the closest he could feel as comfort. He put the vial on a table, he took his shirt off and threw it over the floor. Barefoot in that dark abyss, he started to feel more in control. All he got on were his trousers. He wanted to be physically hurt. A memory struck his mind all the sudden:

_Albus’ pale nude body over him, his overwhelming scent, his damp hair and the blue depth in his eyes filled with lust._

_“Do it, Liébling. Please do it, I need you to…” Gellert had begged with such delicacy that could’ve been easily mistaken as a moan. Albus filled with desire, took out his wand and pressed the tip of it directly but softly against Gellert’s neck and muttered “Crucio…”_

Gellert stopped all the sudden in the room. He felt his pulse rising, he catched himself out of breath. He missed to be able to suffer. He deserved pain. More than ever, he lusted after the idea of being punished and aroused. He felt his own cock growing. He slid his hand down his trousers slowly. He closed his eyes. He allowed himself to roam around his memory. He yielded into his desire.

_A suffocated scream filled the room, mixed with both pain and pleasure. With a thin voice that was barely perceptible Gellert said “Do it again, Al. Do it again and then suck me as you only can”. Albus’ eyes showed an eagerness to please and he complied._

He started to feel his knees weak recalling the pain. Oh, Merlin… it ached his body how much he missed feeling pain. He missed the only man capable of fulfill any of his desires. Not even all the men he had fucked after could make half of the man Albus was to him in bed. He layed down in the cold floor. He stroked himself violently. Silver drops of sweat started to cover his chest. He would’ve traded each and every single one of his acolytes for a moment like that again. He stopped all the sudden. He let himself struggle and fight the urge to orgasm.

_Gellert started thrusting himself inside Albus, clinging to what was left of his strength. Albus moans intoxicated him and fueled him with power. They finished together, screaming each others name. Still inside him, Gellert let himself fall over his lover’s body, out of any strength, almost passing out. He shut his eyes. He let himself feel his lover’s heartbeat. He could’ve died there and he would’vewalked proudly and directly towards hell. But he knew the moment he surrendered, an angel’s hand would’ve reached into his and steal him into paradise. Albus’ hand. It was dark all the sudden. He gave onto the darkness._

_“Sweetheart, please nod if you can hear me” Albus concerned voice hammered almost like white noise. Barely perceptible of reality, Gellert opened his eyes slowly. His physical pain was unbearable and his skin was even more pale than usual. He felt a hand stroke his face. His angel’s hand._

Gellert felt like screaming but he couldn’t even make a sound. He stood up, his body still half pleasured. He took a deep breath. He sat on the bed taking the vial again into his hand. They were outside this world, both of them possessed with desire. They where _obscene_ together, they were _outrageous_. Capable to do anything _criminal_ in the name of their pleasure. Agreeing to sacrifice anything to achieve their goals for the greater good. How _evil_ could that even be?

He wondered if under that same night sky, Albus was thinking of him. It was his turn to ache.


End file.
